GTA VI Trailer

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Muscle car on road with smoke off wheels.

Slept in and forgot about my scheduled GTA stream to talk about the Grand Theft Auto IV trailer today, but it was leaked early anyway, and I’m making up for it by writing these words:

  • Tom Petty’s Love Is A Long Road has probably just become his most popular song.
  • Beautiful graphics, almost photo-realistic, but somehow retaining the GTA art style. The foggy light of Red Dead Redemption 2 is here.
  • Stunts for views on the in-game social media as in-game-minigame challenges would be perfect gameplay for the animated physics insanity that is GTA.
  • Did not spot a Dundreary Regina, but saw a Pfister Comet and many other American obsessions called cars. The game is called Grand Theft Auto, after all: People stealing autos, and autos stealing life from Earth! I love them anyway, especially the digital versions. I think Bruce Gilden would like this game, too.
  • Good to see so many weirdos of all colors, shapes, and sizes all around, including birds and crocodiles. I’ve been to Miami once before which along with L.A., that I’ve only visited in GTA: San Andreas and GTA V, has a high concentration of humanity’s weird, wonderful, wacky, and wacos. Biodiversity is what it’s about.
  • No basketball seen anywhere. I want basketball in a GTA game. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
  • “Angstipan: It cures emotions! America’s favorite dissociative!”
  • Nothing about online play, not surprising this early on.
  • Release date on Playstation and Xbox is 2025. No PC release date mentioned. My guess is it’ll be similar to V, which was released on PC around 18 months after the console version.
  • A couple as protagonists (The Getaway?) and perhaps a story shining some light on the problem of prisons in the USA could make this one special.

“The only way we’re gonna get through this is by sticking together.”

I look forward to seeing a digital sun emerging from the ocean in Vice City in a couple of years.

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